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| Author: | Don Williams [ Tue Jun 06, 2006 2:52 am ] |
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Some people are like Slinkies... Not really good for anything, But they still bring a smile to your face When you push them down the stairs. |
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| Author: | Graham Steward [ Tue Jun 06, 2006 3:44 am ] |
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| Author: | Billy T [ Tue Jun 06, 2006 4:26 am ] |
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Oh! That's mean! My favorite- "I care not for religion whose man's dog or cat isn't the better for it!" -Honest Abe Lincoln Another when "Lady" Astor stated to a very great American, Winston Churchill: "Winston, if I were your wife I'd put poison in your coffee." Winston's reply: "Nancy, if I were your husband I'd drink it." |
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| Author: | Michael McBroom [ Tue Jun 06, 2006 5:36 am ] |
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I believe it was Mark Twain who related the following conversation he had with a woman at a social event (to paraphrase): "You smell, sir!" "Pardon me, madam, but you smell. I stink!" Best, Michael |
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| Author: | RussellR [ Tue Jun 06, 2006 5:38 am ] |
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Another one of Churchills He was invited to a play by George Bernard Shaw, with a note that read. "Winston you are invited to the opening night of my new play, bring a friend if you have one" Churchill sent back the following. "Can't make the first night, will come the second night if you have one" |
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| Author: | RussellR [ Tue Jun 06, 2006 5:40 am ] |
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One of my favourites and I don't know who said it is Better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool, than to open it and remove all doubt |
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| Author: | Tom Harbin [ Tue Jun 06, 2006 5:56 am ] |
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I think it may have been Solomon. |
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| Author: | Don A [ Tue Jun 06, 2006 7:21 am ] |
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[QUOTE=Don Williams] Some people are like Slinkies... Not really good for anything, But they still bring a smile to your face When you push them down the stairs. [/QUOTE] We think alike, I had it on my office door as a "Thought for the Weak".
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| Author: | Michael McBroom [ Tue Jun 06, 2006 8:15 am ] |
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Another one from Churchill. Once again a paraphrase, cuz I don't have the quote handy. It seems that Churchill's secretary or adminstrative assistant or whatever had a habit of correcting his grammar and sending back his letters or other correspondence for rewriting. She especially disliked ending sentences with a preposition. So, in response he wrote back to her "This is more than I can up with put." Best, Michael |
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| Author: | Alain Desforges [ Tue Jun 06, 2006 3:07 pm ] |
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Here's a few I like. 'The longer I live, the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and all the pains I have so humbly taken to verify my notions, have only wasted my time.' -GBS 'An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind' -Mahatma Gandhi 'Life doesn't cease to be funny when people die any more that it ceases to be serious when people laugh.' -GBS 'If we don't believe in freedom of expressions for people we despise, we don't believe in it at all' -Noam Chompsky 'Democracy is a devise that ensures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.' -GBS And one of my all-time favorites... 'A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always count on the support of Paul' -GBS |
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| Author: | Rod True [ Tue Jun 06, 2006 3:22 pm ] |
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I hate to tell you guys, but Churchill was British, not American. Here's a good one from him Bessie Braddock: Sir, you are drunk. Churchill: And you, madam, are ugly. But in the morning I shall be sober. And another Churchill: Madam, would you sleep with me for five million pounds? Socialite: My goodness, Mr. Churchill... Well, I suppose... we would have to discuss terms, of course... Churchill: Would you sleep with me for five pounds? Socialite: Mr. Churchill, what kind of woman do you think I am?! Churchill: Madam, we've already established that. Now we are haggling about the price. |
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| Author: | Billy T [ Tue Jun 06, 2006 3:31 pm ] |
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[QUOTE=Rod True]I hate to tell you guys, but Churchill was British, not American. [/QUOTE] The better part of him was American! His mother! 
Another great American- "I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well." -Emo Philips |
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| Author: | Michael Shaw [ Tue Jun 06, 2006 3:36 pm ] |
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Hey did you's know the US navy named a ship after Churchill. Churchill |
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| Author: | Serge Poirier [ Tue Jun 06, 2006 4:17 pm ] |
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When my Dad turned 65 he said he felt half dead and then added: Does that mean i'm gonna live 'till 130? |
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| Author: | Serge Poirier [ Tue Jun 06, 2006 4:19 pm ] |
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He also often sawarns not to worry about life, that no one gets out of it alive!
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| Author: | Billy T [ Wed Jun 07, 2006 6:14 am ] |
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[QUOTE]Hey did you's know the US navy named a ship after Churchill.[/QUOTE] Cool, I always liked Winny! He was a sharp guy! |
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| Author: | Graham Steward [ Wed Jun 07, 2006 7:13 am ] |
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[quote]'A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always count on the support of Paul' -GBS [/quote] Who is GBS?  George Bush Senior?
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| Author: | old man [ Wed Jun 07, 2006 7:34 am ] |
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I assume it's George Bernard Shaw. Ron |
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| Author: | CarltonM [ Wed Jun 07, 2006 8:05 am ] |
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[QUOTE=Michael McBroom] She especially disliked ending sentences with a preposition. So, in response he wrote back to her "This is more than I can up with put." Best, Michael [/QUOTE] I've heard his response was, "That is one rule up with which I will not put!" |
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| Author: | CarltonM [ Wed Jun 07, 2006 8:06 am ] |
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[QUOTE=Billy T]Another great American- "I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well." -Emo Philips[/QUOTE] My favorite Emo line: "Yeah, I'm a great lover......I bet!" |
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| Author: | John Watkins [ Wed Jun 07, 2006 8:36 am ] |
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"I didn't know how many of em' it would take to kick my ***, but I knew how many they were gonna to use...." "I had the right to remain silent, but I didn't have the ability..." Ron White |
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| Author: | Shawn [ Wed Jun 07, 2006 9:39 am ] |
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My favorite Emo Phillips (American offbeat comedian) line: I'll never forget the last words my Grandfather told me... "A Truck!!"
By the way, I had a friend that told me that when his grandmother turned 60 that the doctor recommended that she walk 5 miles a day... Now they dont know where she is!! 
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| Author: | Serge Poirier [ Wed Jun 07, 2006 9:59 am ] |
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Shawn wrote: I'll never forget the last words my Grandfather told me... "A Truck!!"
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| Author: | Brock Poling [ Wed Jun 07, 2006 11:16 am ] |
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[QUOTE=Alain Desforges] 'An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind' -Mahatma Gandhi [/QUOTE] You know what is interesting about this ... the eye for an eye thing is not about vengance, it is about mercy. It is originally meant as a limit to the amount of "justice" you can exact for harm done to you. Another interesting one is the term "the 3rd degree" it refers to 3 degrees of torture used in the dark ages, it used to be that if you were accused of a crime they would torture you until you confessed or died, and the 3rd degree was "progress" in that if you survived the 3 degrees of torture without confessing you must be innocent. Just thought I would share.... |
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